1Stop Live

Emotional Prostitution

Throughout our lives, we have all kinds of relationships, whether family, friends, work or loving ones. And this shouldn’t be so surprising because as human beings that we are, we are relational social beings, although it´s important to become aware that since we are born our survival depends on a relationship, just like establishing an emotional connection.

What I invite you to do is to stop for a moment and ask yourself if you’ve ever prostituted yourself emotionally when being in a relationship. And even if it’s perhaps hard for you to ask yourself this question, you’d be surprised to know that there are more people than you think who prostitute themselves emotionally…

If you still wonder what is to prostitute yourself emotionally, please keep reading!

1. Love or attachment

The word love is distorted in our society, and sometimes what we think is love doesn’t really have to do with its deepest meaning. Love simply is, what is natural can´t be forced, it proposes as otherwise, it would be manipulation, at the same time that true love is giving yourself to the other person in equal conditions plus giving the best of ourselves.

That´s the reason why I think it is so important that we stop marketing with something so sacred, because love is neither bought nor sold, nor does it serve as a bartering coin.

Where do we love from?

Sometimes we sell ourselves for a little of love, because there is an immense need for attention, companionship, recognition, affection, or listening, and without realizing it we end up prostituting ourselves to receive back what we need in exchange for what we give, keeping ourselves in our own cage. Love is a feeling directed to the other, while attachment is based on fulfilling a self-centered need. I invite you to keep asking yourself:

Is love a conditioned feeling?
What kind of love do I deserve?
What kind of love do others deserve from me?

2. What’s really in that exchange?

I encourage you to pay attention to what exchange you have in your relationship if you have one. For example in the case that there might be a material component or the case you may not want to let go of the exhausting effort of sustaining whatever it is that you are holding for fear of losing, or to stop receiving what you receive.

What I mean by this is simply that we sincerely think about how many marriages are still together so as not to lose their house, their social status, fear of facing social shame or what the family and friends may say, etc…

I personally lived with my parents the fact that they didn´t separate till we went to University, sacrificing themselves for my brothers and me, holding on to what they had to put up with when in the end we were somehow used as an excuse to hide the real interests or the disabilities themselves.

3. Unhappiness for what you pay in return

It’s essential to check out whether it’s worth being unhappy with which you pay in exchange for sustaining covert profits or concealing your lack of value, which you might not have even stopped to think about. So if you give up being happy to make others happy, you are acting from a victim role, giving yourself a justification, an excuse, plus fooling yourself, and in the end, everyone involved including you will get hurt…

The key is within yourself!

4. Start loving yourself

Start loving yourself and being in harmony is the best gift you can offer not only to yourself, but also to the surrounding people, plus the world as an example of coherence. To love is being an example of coherence when you start loving yourself, because the first relationship starts with oneself, as everything else is a mirror of that relationship.

Accepting and loving yourself is the key to beautifying your inner world, that inner world that you will always see faithfully reflected in your relationships with others.

Remember that you aren´t born to meet anyone’s expectations, but if you are in a relationship you can both share in a realistic world showing yourselves adultly without hurting each other.

5. Responsibility

It is clear that for others to be happy we have to be happy with ourselves first, and what I mean by this isn´t selfishness, but lucid love in action. If we really think about it, selfishness is when we charge others with the responsibility and weight of our unhappiness. Many times I hear in consultation as a Bioneuroemotion Therapeutic Companion, or just talking to friends saying certain comments such as: “with everything I’ve done for her, and she gives this back to me” or “I’ve put so much energy into this relationship and that’s how I get paid for it.”

If we become aware of these words, we will be able to realize the selfishness they entail and the damage they can cause. So the other person who hears that it’s been done so much for him or her makes him/her get involved in guilt and the feeling of being in debt.

What it´s important to see is if you recognize yourself in some kind of emotional prostitution, in other words, being prostituted or prostituting others by saying for example: “You owe me this” or ¨You have to give this back to me because I gave you this ¨, acknowledging your own mental bonds and beliefs, which make you be trapped by selfishness disguised as love. And at the end, you are controlled by your thoughts by being thought of by them unconsciously, rather than the other way round.

Bioneuroemotion Therapeutic Companion accompanies people who want to help themselves to explore internally and find unconscious generational patterns to make them conscious and start letting go of any interference that will take them away from their true self.

You deserve all the best because you come to this world to be happy, although until you don´t prioritize that you will adapt to anything, plus you will stop empowering yourself from your own life by letting others control it.

I hope you enjoyed this article and if you have any questions, you can ask me anytime!

Have an awesome day,

Love always,